Thousands of Invisible Threads - Personal Evolution

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We die and are born again, knowing the truth about the power inside each of us.
At some point in life along the way our minds develop and we forget, yet it doesn't mean we no longer have access to the memory of this knowledge and its related abilities.
It is truly within our human capability profile to do "these things and greater," as Jesus prophesied we would.
It's just a matter of finding the key and opening the door.
Once we believe it is open, we will fly out from behind our self-imprisonment.
Meanwhile though, in our current victim reality, we believe in suffering--negatively.
Do you know that there is such a state as positive suffering? This side of the suffering coin has a purpose.
Like strength conditioning or any other practice that motivates a person to go the distance, positive suffering expands a person beyond their self-imposed limits.
Challenging, no doubt, it is a place of initiation, a place from which someone will eventually graduate and slide into the river of ease.
In a causal (not casual) relationship to the soul's purpose, a person who is positively suffering is sincere, learning to trust something greater, both inside and outside of themselves.
Although very vulnerable and soft, this person is also chomping at the bit of transformation.
This person begs for forgiveness and demands the same from everyone, constantly sacrificing the ego to communicate in any situation, at any cost.
This is the beginning of an honest and humble unraveling of feelings, expressions of true human beingness, as well as pain and sadness from an empathic place.
Not entirely clear about where the trail will lead next, this person perceives all others as righteous, no matter where they sit in relationship to their own purposes.
Almost contrarily, this person is able to stand-up for themselves intuitively and constructively.
The state of positive suffering is a stepping stone to full responsibility which is the only ticket out of the illusion.
Jesus and Neo in the Matrix both experienced it.
So let's wander back into the scene with the angry friend and the possible reasons I, or any of us, may have taken on that energy, in consciousness or not.
If I knew it was coming, I might have reacted in my normal, pre-programmed way, resisting or dodging it.
This I have done many times.
I've made a great practice of first resisting, judging or framing it in my mind somehow, then dodging the bullets of others emotions and negative thinking.
I'm really good at it too.
This recent angry energetic transference arrived obliquely, via one of my blind spots.
A phenomenon crucial to my personal growth, this is why it helped me to evolve.
It is my time now to be taken down by the machine gun fire of another's anger.
Why anger? Well, because it's familiar to me, because I've often been motivated and empowered by anger, and more important, I have many memories of death by anger and I desperately need to break free from it's claws and control over me.
I have a deeply lodged fearful belief that I will die, metaphorically, at the hand of someone else's rage, and have used my own rage as a buffer, an equalizer, to fight back, time and time again.
A belief so strong, I have manifested it on the physical plane, many times.
This is my resurrection; well, it's one of them anyway.
I need to find a way to trust that I am simultaneously powerful and vulnerable enough to not only let it pass through me, killing me once again, I also need to remember I can stand up enlivened afterward and say, "no," this is no longer my reality.
And by making the statement that I'm ready to change how I identify myself, I've called in this experience.
Watching "The Matrix" over and over, almost obsessively, I know that Neo's self-discovery is my potentiality.
And although I have realized this to be my truth for a decade now, I have never moved beyond the place where I, each and every time, become a victim of my circumstances, collapsing as though dead.
At best, I drop into apathy and self suppression, beginning the long and steep climb out of the well of darkness yet again.
It's really quite tiresome pushing through the same old birth canal multiple times.
That is, until today.
Today I have taken a step to meet myself in a different way.
Of course it's never really over, at least not for me and not for Neo.
Like it or not, we will all be reborn somehow, at some point, if only to learn the most important Universal truth: Yin and Yang.
Like Neo, the more adept we become, the more adept becomes our enemy.
As our enemy grows, we realize we've been fighting our own shadow, an integral part of ourselves and the essence of oneness and individuation.
"You mean I'm going to dodge bullets? No, I mean when the time comes, you won't have to.
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